bro

bro are you okay

you’ve been standing there for like

6 months

Sorry, I was just totally baffled by your sheer stup1dity!!

How DARE you assault a minority?! You must be a special brand of dumb!!

Have you even been watching the news?! Minorities are being OPPRESSED everywhere we go in this day and age!

Of course I’m not a dead body!!

You’re just saying that because of the color of my skin aren’t you?!

Dude, what is this guy on?

Like, he totally thinks he’s a minority just so he can tell others to check their privilege.

It’s probably just because he’s 2% African or something like that.

What a chum.p.

YEAH, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?

I AM BLACK! 23ANDME SAID SO!

JUST LOOK!

...oh po0 po0.

he really WAS black!

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

YEAH WAHT NOW HUH

NOT SO CLEVER NOW ARE YOU

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT

YOU TWO SHMUKS WHO STABBED ME

BOTH OF YOU ARE RACIST!!!!111!!1!!111

good job hiddon!

way to hit those mothergentlycaressers with your ability!

...oh po0 po0.

po0 po0 gently caress eternal sauna

We gotta get out of here man.

And fast, before Twitter arrives to cancel us!!

not so fast!

oh no it’s the police!

hidddon how tf did we get found out

idk man but they’re about to unleash some police brutality on us minorities

We gotta stand up for our rights as persons of color, c0ckuzu!

Quick, hidddddon! hide the drugs!

They won’t be able to send us to jail if we snort all the evidence first!

Good idea, I’ll help too!

*sniff*

*sniff*

*sniff*

DO I CARE NOTE: God, I hate the fact that I have to change every part of Kakuzu's dialogue to Comic Sans.

Why did we even add this to the story in the first place?

*sniff*

ooooooh yeah, it’s a party, wo0o0o0o0o!

gimme some mo’!

“Kazuku” lmao

Hey, I know I’m rare and all, but you don’t need to call me a “thing”.

uh

uh no i was talking about that gorilla lookin’ mf with the s3xy beard

Soooo… me.

NO *cough* HES TALKING ABOUT ME

So, new guy, huh?

As the only person here who isn’t shellshocked in one way or another, what’s your name?

my name is steven wilson of the technology department of apple

if you need a computer fixed im your guy

The only thing that you’re going to need fixed is your jawline after we’re done with you.

Tch.

All you immigrants do nothing but complain about not getting paid enough when all you do are gutter tr@sh jobs like this.

Go and get a REAL job, will you? Hehehe.

Nice one, Caintetsu.

YOU FOOL! YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!

C0CKUZU IS INDIAN!

AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT INDIAN IS JUST CURRY FLAVORED BLACK!

YOU ASSAULTED NOT JUST ONE BUT TWO PEOPLE OF COLOR!

YOU’RE EVEN MORE RACIST NOW!!

YOU’RE LITERALLY WORSE THAN LEREK MAUVIN AT THIS POINT!

YEAH WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'LL GO EVEN BEYOND RACIST

CAINTETSU NO

DON’T CROSS THE RACIST THRESHOLD

IT’S TOO LATE FOR ME ABELMO

gently caress IT, IF IM GOING TO BE LABELED RACIST THEN I MIGHT AS WELL EMBRACE IT

I’M WAY BEYOND RACIST

I'LL BE 100X RACIST

COME AT ME TWITTER, JUST TRY AND CANCEL ME!!

I’LL TAKE ALL YOU ESS JAY DUBYAS ON!!

...holy po0 po0.

You really shouldn’t have said that Caintetsu.

That might just get the episode deleted.

ADLDIC note: the political views of the characters portrayed in this story should not be taken seriously and are not a representation of the authors’ actual perspective on racial injustice. this is a parody for the sake of a quick laugh and nothing more.

also, kotetsu’s just memeing

Hey, you two.

Eh?

What?

While you two were busy talking about skin colors, I beat the two Akatsuki members for you.

Wait, what–

this is bad.

We might even die here.

that’s right!

i am an arab you mothergentlycaresser, my name is obama bin laden

you ever heard of 9/11?

What does that have to do with–

Well I’m gonna bring you 9/11 part TWO

first it was a plane, but this time it’s gonna be my D!CK.

It’s gonna gently caress ALL AMERICAN CITIZENS

WHITE

BLACK

BROWN

pINK

GREEN

WHATEVER RACE AND COLOR THEY ARE

so don’t wast my preeshus time–

...wow you’re dumb

there’s no such thing as green people

also, we’re in Japan, not America.

WELL YOU–

YOU MUST BE AN UGLY rear end

DOOOORK

*phone ringing*

...excuse me. pardon me for just a moment. just wait a moment.

...hello?

Hi sir, I’d like to let you know that your refrigerator is running.

my refrigerator is running?

You better go catch it before it runs away.

I BETTER GO AND GET IT?!

...or you might run into an Angel of Death if you’re too slow.

OMG ITS DOOR GOD!!!!11!1!!!11111!11!1!

Door Style: Plot no Jutsu.

INTERMISSION

...I think this has to be the riskiest ADLDICLPNOS episode yet.

If this doesn’t get us in big doo doo, I don’t know what will.

NO WAIT

YOU DON’T WANT TO ATTACK US

YOU FOOL!

AREN’T YOU AFRAID OF BEING CALLED RACIST?!

Can’t you see?

I’m using my Plot no Jutsu to further the plot, and I’m attacking you with crows.

And what color are the crows?

N-no… Impossible...

…they’re black… just like me…

And everyone knows…

...it’s impossible for a black person to be racist!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GET OUT OF THERE C0CKUZU HE’S TOO STRONG FOR US

LET’S GET OUT OF HERE MAN HE’S GONNA KILL US

im right behind you dawg we better get back to colcatta and regroup with the other scammers man

Asuma!! What happened!?

I… I didn’t want to be racist…

So I lost…

Okay, I can understand that, but why the heck are you DYING??

Someone… leaked this scene of the anime onto the internet… Now everyone knows that we were racist…

I’m getting cancelled on my social media...

Someone LEAKED footage of us?

Who could it have been? Who would backstab us like that?

...Heh.

Oh god…

This can’t be happening… We’re losing followers!!

How dare they?! We’re the s3xiest men alive! Do they really mean to turn their backs against the likes of us?

No, Kingtetsu, IzuGod, you don’t understand…

Twitter does not care whether you’re hot or handsome.

If they think you’re racist, or hom0phobic, or if you gently caress kiids…

It’s over for you… just as it’s over for me...

Asuma you’re not going to die!

Hang in there, it’s just twitter dot com!

They’re harmless!

No, you don’t understand…

If a naruto character’s reputation is ruined…

They’re as good as dead… just look at Sukura…

Oh god you’re right…

Asuma!! hang in there!

don’t you die on me yet, asuma!

If you die now, you’re going to make a grave mistake that you’ll regret for the rest of your life!

Get it? get it? get it…

Oh my god you are such a mood killer.

It’s over for me… Twitter and YouTube are killing me… *cough*

Let me say my last words for you all…

Choji… you used to be some British dude straight out of an old Abridged series…

But you haven’t had any lines since forever…

You better say something good… whatever you say will be funny because you’re British…

good heavens, it’s chewsday innit

ino hand me that bo’o o’ wo’o so we can give our ol’ chap Asuma one last scrumptious drink

Ino… you have been so irrelevant for this entire Let’s Play that you don’t have a personality anymore…

But you’re a s3xy waifu character… so you’ll be popular anyways…

Before this Let’s Play is over… you better develop yourself a personality so you can stand on your own as a real character…

Generic mourning comment.

And finally, Shikamaru…

Someday you’ll come up with the lamest pun ever…

And it’ll be so strong, it’ll be classified as a war crime, and they’ll call in Kofi Anaan…

Once you find that… you’ll be able to ORKO anyone…

change da world… my final message.

lmao I love how there’s just no dialogue box here so we can’t tell who’s saying this

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

this game’s shoddy translation always is a gift that keeps on giving

no

not asuma!

asuma can’t die!

who’s going to cheer me on outside while I’m taking a dump now?

who’s going to remind me about the consequences of second hand smoke whenever he says literally any line?

who’s going to insist on playing “does this look like a v@gina” every single time we go out for bbq?

how will my life ever be the same?

wdym “asuma is!”

i s2g whoever wrote this must have had a friggin’ stroke jesus christ

Pffftttt.

I love how we’ve bashed the translation so many times we’re running out of new and original insults to say.

By the way, is there even anyone who qualifies as a “related people” for Asuma? Didn’t his dad like, not exist or whatever?

Or was his dad Sarutobi? I forgot.

yeah his dad doesnt exist

WDYM RETURN TO THE VILLAGE RIGHT AWAY

NARUTO IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE YOU COULD ASK HIM RIGHT NOW

No.

We need to return to the village and ask Naruto to accelerate his cultivation for the new skill.

What the eternal sauna is a cultivation?

It’s like, you know, a… field kind of thing.

Where you grow plants.

So you’re saying he’s a weed sprouting in our garden?

Uhhh.

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 20 - ‘Bout To Get Racist

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

REQUIRED BGM:

Asuma was a great man.

You can truly find no man who was better than Asuma.

His accomplishments were many and just.

He can be seen here, attempting to stop a man from ending his own life.

He can @lso be seen here, defending his country from the evil threat that is 7/11.

And you can see him right here, taking a selfie with Obama bin Laden himself.

Now I can confirm that these photos are 100% legit.

And to prove that I’ve taken a selfie with Obama bin Laden AND Asuma.

Yeah that’s me right there.

sup.

Asuma was an amazing man.

And he will forever live on in our hearts.

As the gently caressing wuss who lost his life because he didn’t want to be racist.

Amen.

Amen.

...amen.

amen.

...Pfft.

...

amen.

amen.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...so uh…

...I got some extra KFC in the back of my car, it’s been sitting there for days and uh, I don’t know what to do with it.

...Anyone want it?