The moment Midnight was marched onto the stage, a thousand cameras blinded him as the various shipping clubs leapt into action.

He stood on stage quietly, ever aware of the thousand or so eyes that wandered his form, some in disgust, some in laughter

Some in lust.

That wasn't good.

Slowly, the cheers died down as every girl (and half the guys) got their pound of flesh.

Then he heard a terrible noise.

It sounded like someone was choking.

He turned around, his well dusted face reacting with horror at the sight before him

Azure stood on the back of his friend Scarlet

In spiked stilettos.

Borrowed from Breeze of course.

Good evening ladies and gents! His diabolical angel shouted over the din

Tonight we have a secret auction, for VP Tsunade needs her debts paid! At this cry, Azure stomped down on the near naked Scarlet, who wore only a tiny set of briefs.

Scarlet whimpered, but everyone was cheering for Azure, so he was ignored.

Our auction will feature the chance to date Midnight for one night, at the outfit of your choosing! Azure paused at the uproar, then continued. Bring him back in one piece please! A body in the river will reflect poorly on our school, and in turn our job prospects!

Already, chants began in earnest.

Bidding starts at $6000! For the VP can't win a poker game to save her life! Almost instantly, shouts of higher amounts rang out from the crowd.

...

Midnight ultimately sold for almost six figures, with Azure kicking him off the stage into the arms of his buyer.

She wasn't bad looking. Light brown hair, kind blue eyes,

She had a look on her face not unlike Azure however, and a guy that looked awfully like her brother gave him a sympathetic look as he was dragged out, clad in the leotard, to places unknown.

...

And now, ladies and gents! We have entertainment tonight! The shaving of Crimson Fist! Azure shouted after Midnight was hauled off to his certain doom.

Behind Azure and the now collapsed Scarlet (the little wimp). A infernal contraption sat, with one very unfortunate Crimson tied to a chair.

The ever sweet Yashamaru stood over him, a warm smile over his lips as he pulled on latex gloves, with the notorious snap emphasised over the now silent room.

Vaseline was scrubbed into the scalp of Crimson, who blushed as the pretty girl lovingly made his hair nice and shiny,

He blushed less when the pretty girl set his hair on fire.

He gawked when he realised the girl was wearing a boys uniform.

He knew fear when the "girl" slipped off with Azure, who had since switched to much more sensible combat boots.

He knew horror when he realised he had a crush on Azure's boyfriend.

But that was mostly because his scalp was in dire need of an ice bath.

AN: Finally got back into this series.

Yashamaru is my favourite character. Deal with it.

And oh, a quote from him, directed to both Midnight and Crimson, both of whom face certain doom at this rate: A wound of a heart is different from a flesh wound. Unlike a flesh wound, there are no ointments to heal it, and there are times when they never heal.

Shame Crimson and Midnight will never heal at this rate.