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1＃ Go ToI have been planning to create a fanfiction about a character named Dosu Hyuga. She would be a part of the side branch, being Neji's half sister. She would have 4 Kekkei Genkei:
Scorch Release
Sand Release
Byakugan
Byakugou (Later obtained)
She would be born on Konaha and lived there until she was 4. She learned some Gentle Step and would train them by herself. She then was transported to Amegakure, where she would grow up in the Hidden Rain, under Hanzo's rule until she was about 6. At this point, Nagato and Konan would kill Hanzo. She would then join an academy, and be apart of a team called Team -4. She would later participate in the Chunin Exams. She would advance, then 2 years later become a Jounin at the age of 9. She would join the Anbu at age 10 and become captain months later. She would then be sent on a mission to save Sasori. She would find Sasori fighting Chiyo and Sakura.He would've summoned his puppet army by now. She would use her scorch release to force Chiyo and Sakura to flee, in other words Sasori not dying at this point. Chiyo still gives her life to save Gaara however. A few weeks then pass, and Dosu joins the Akatsuki, being teamed up with Tobi, as Sasori never died. Tobi and Dosu would then be sent on a mission to assist Deidara in attacking Sasuke. Tobi sucessfully uses the minefeild jutsu, killing Sasuke and obtaining his body, later given to Orochimaru.
Nagato would be attacking Konaha at this point. Konan under-estimates Naruto sending no reinforcements, and Nagato dies reviving those in the war. Konan, Dosu and Deidara then go back to Amegakure, expecting an attack from Tobi. Deidara infuses his clay into Konan's paper bombs, to create a huge explosion, and Dosu creates an opening with her Sand release and Byakugan. She uses the 8 Triagrams 64 Palms to shut off his chakra way, so he cannot use Kamui. Konan then successfully kills Tobi with the bombs in the river.
Amegakure is peaceful for a few months, but Deidara betrays Konan and assists Madara in the Shinobi war. He fills Tobi's role. Later though, Sasori is forced to kill his old partner, and then they retract from the war. Konan, Sasori and Dosu begin getting a reputation as the 3 Deadly Arts. Dosu starts beggining to infuse Scorch chakra into the gentle fist to burn the insides at this point. She successfully creates a technique known as the Burning 8 Triagrams 64 Palms. The war then ends, with Tenten sealing Kaguya. She sustains major damage, and gets poisoned. She doesn't die however, as Sakura and Ino manage to save her.
This is as far as i've got now.. I am wondering if its a good idea... The details may be thrown off but I can edit the story if there is enough demand...
Anyway, I'd like to hear your thoughts... I dont know if its good or not... If I do make it, I most likely will alter it to make it less fanfiction and more like an actual story...
This post was last edited by IronBlade on 2017-08-28 01:07:08. -
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First of all- don't name your character Dosu or the forum's Dosu will come to assasinate you with his sound weapon of some sort
Second thing- write your story the way YOU want it, not anybody else, show us what YOU have in mind about it and how it look like for you and how you want it to be. Pour your idea on paper/pc screen and let us read!
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^What Tiami said xD^
On a more serious note though, there already is a character named Dosu in Naruto (Dosu Kinuta... he's also my favorite Naruto character of all time, and is really poorly represented in Naruto Online).
But apart from that, I personally do like this idea. "Alternate timeline"-type stories like this are always fun to read in my opinion.
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- IronBlade On 2017-08-28 03:19:42
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Ok. I just chose Dosu as I've used Dosu as a name many times before. I asked for opinions because I wondered if me killing Sasuke off was controversial
But I will start the series then. The character will now be called Kibo Hyuga (Kibo meaning Hope)
Killing Sasuke off controversial? Man, that would please many people here, believe me
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They're not unique. She's from the side branch of the Hyuga family. Her mother was from the Sarutobi clan. And to be honest think about Naruto. She wouldn't come close to his power. Just because she's young and passed the tests doesn't mean she's that powerful. And they all exist. The scorch release does. The sand release does (Gaara) The Byakugan do (Hinata, Hanabi, Neji etc) and the Byakagou is the thing on Sakura and Tsunade. I called it a Kekkei Genkei becauae it enhances power.
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- Registered: 2017-07-24
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Just to make sure your OC isn't too much of a mary sue http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm
But besides that I'm interested in how this'll pan out and what matters most is having fun so good luck :D
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I have some problems with your story.
1)All side branch members have a curse mark that will kill them if they are ever in enemy hands. I also don't think the timing is right as there is only chunin exam that happens is the filler one and the timeline does not quite add up. Also why would Obito kill saskue and give his body to orochimaru but for pedo reasons? when Itachi and Obito are all like sharigan bros into the moon tree plan while being a spy for the leaf? and Obito wanted saskue to join him.
2)If Obito dies then no one is alive to set up the moon tree plain. And then no 5 kage battle and then Danzo is hokage of the leaf with no saskue to kill him. after Danzo trying to use genjutsu on the other kages at the meeting is found out by AO's bykugan. Danzo would be killed at the meeting by AY or if he did excape with izangai all nations would be after the leaf that is still rebuilding after the attack.
3)Obito is dead so no team up with kabuto so no white zetus army Kabuto can still use edo tenis on the orignal sound 3 lead by Dosu (Who turns out is a elite who was on par with Orochimaru him self) who after learning from his mistake of going toe to toe with full power Shukaku in the part that the anime faded away from that was a epic battle that was even bigger then the one with pain.
4)How does Deidara a guy who only cares about *ing things up get trusted with running a ninja village? when he was wanted in the earth ninja village he came from for trying to * it up. he also tried to * up the sand village. So how dumb is konan for letting him in the rain village? so Deidara betraying her is her own fault. Also Sasori hates waiting naruto online told me that.
5) There is no GNW with no shinobi alliance from the 5 kage battle as everyone hates the leaf. Kabuto can still summon Madera but he would not know what he was doing there. Black zetus failed with saskue being dead so no way for kaguya to show up with the moon eye plain being failed. and all the villages live with the rest of the time never coming togeter if anything fighting more after how bad Danzo screw up the meeting. and it is only a matter of time before the 3 arts are hunted down by AO and Dosu for some reason.
Also Spoiler Obito is Tobi
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