So earlier today I stumbled upon this masterpiece of a series that reminded me way too much of a certain two members of our beloved Fanfiction section.
And so, with like fifteen minutes and a tired brain, I whipped up a bad piece of writing paying tribute. Uh, enjoy I guess?
“We shall now begin the annual Fanfiction Section meeting.”
OppaiPaizuri, the overseer of Konoha’s Fanfiction District, folded their arms and turned to the first person at the table.
“Akuma, report. What have you done in this past month?”
The local Simplicity Specialist, the quiet Akuma, meekly held up an image that shall not be named. “You asked for this, guys.”
Immediately, everyone on the table barfed.
“I warned you,” said Akuma.
Qv immediately stood up, bolted out of his spinny chair, and dashed arms forward towards the door. He was about to get to it when the door swung wide open, smashing him into the wall.
The clock tinged. 7:30 PM.
Two figures were standing in the doorway, each with their own color motif. One had red hair and clothes, while the other wore green. On their faces were slightly-too-shiny shades, and they both wore distinguishable smirks that emitted enough smugness to make everything around them rot.
One of the doors fell off its hinges.
Oppai sighed. “You two are late.”
“oh sorry lol” said the green one. “i was looking for my belt watch.”
“Your what?” asked Clay Lord as he scrubbed out his name
“His waist of time.” said the red one. “Get it?”
Oppai facepalmed as the two swaggered into the room.
“Anyways guys, good seeing y’all, but we gotta split.” The red one flicked his hair back. “Especially since these meetings are just *so* interesting, you know?”
The two of them turned and were about to trot out the door, hands on their hips, when a mug full of coffee suddenly flew into the back of the green one’s head, drenching him with coffee.
“Nailed it.” From the table, art director Tiami high-fived Akuma. “You aren’t leaving us with your paperwork again.”
“ey watch it,” said the green guy. “youre cramping our style lollll”
“Uh, yeah, what he said,” said the red guy.
“What style?” pointed out Kuebiko quietly.
“oh thats it” shot back the green guy.
“Okay, with such a good attitude, how can we leave?” The red guy turned. “We’ll show you how it’s done lickety-split.”
“Yeah, how are you gonna do that?” said Dosu. “Are you going to use your magical Christmas powers to disintegrate us?”
“OKAY THAT’S IT” said the green guy, his text suddenly turning into caps. “ITS SO ON NOW”
“Yeah,” said the red guy. "You guys must be Russia, cause you're sure... russian to your demise now."
The clock dinged again. 7:37.
“actually uh” said the green guy. “never mind i left my shower on and it's going through its edgy phase so we gotta go”
and the two swagged out of the building, with the entirity of the fanfiction section in tow.
“so were we going now” said the green guy. “since were wanted now”
“We’re gonna go pay a visit to customer service,” said the red guy. “We’re gonna see someone extra special.”
“i wonder who it is,” said the green guy.
“Yeah me too,” said the red guy, as Arkos Sailor picked up the door and threw it at them. The two christmas bois slithered into customer service, where good old Tobei was chilling at his desk.
“yo tobei,” said the green guy.
“What is it?” said Tobei.
“Wanna buy some bugs?” asked the red guy.
“How much are the bugs?” asked Tobei.
“Well, usually we charge 3.37 cents per bug,” said the red guy. “But since you’re such a good mod we can lower the price down to only 2.37 cents per bug.”
“WHOA WHAT A DEAL” shouted Akuma from behind them, waving his minimalist posters of his waifu. “ARE YOU GONNA TAKE IT TOBEI OR WHAT”
“nah, I’m broke,” said Tobei, putting down his phone. “I spent all my seal scrolls on computer stuff.”
“Whoa, since when did ninjas have computers?!” said the red guy, as the computer stuff Tobei had just bought faded out of existence. Tobei watched his life savings go down the drain and cried as the two hoodlums stealthily slid out of the customer service section.
“you know im kinda tired from all this running,” said the green guy. “and now everyone wants to lock us up or something as missingnos”
“I mean, who wouldn’t want to follow us,” said the red guy. “But I have the perfect plan.”
The green guy put on a fake nose on his shoe. “wat”
“I’m buff, so I’ll just suplex the crap out of all of them.”
“but your not buff”
“Oh, that’s it. I’m done with you.” The red guy suddenly stopped walking and waited until the green guy was ten paces ahead of him. Then, his arm extended all the way over to the green guy’s face until he slapped him, breaking the shift and up arrow keys on the green guy’s laptop.
“HEY WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT HUH” said the green guy. “BESIDES ITS LIKE &:$@ SO LETS GO BACK HO
“Good idea,” said the red guy. And they started walking down south Konoha and into the hospital on 37th street and both promptly went to bed.
...what did I just do
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