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[ Fanfiction ] Fight Against Pain: Student vs Student (Rating T)

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  • Registered: 2017-07-24
  • Topics: 142
  • Posts: 1532
On 2018-04-30 16:30:33Show All PostsDescending Order
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Naruto jumped back and threw a flurry of Fuma Shuriken towards Tendo. The main path showed no emotion as he merely deflected them all with an invisible force. He lowered his hand, looking at his objective with a focused stare.

"Surrender yourself Naruto Uzumaki. Do it and what's left of this village may be spared/i"

Naruto gritted his teeth and held back his hand, summoning two clones to shape the Rasengans.

"Shut up! I'm not listening to any more of your crap! You killed my sensei and then my friends! You hurt my village and you're forcing me surrender?! Forget it! Because I never surrender, believe it! Take this! Rasenrengan!"

The clones finished shaping the sphere and Naruto charged forward. He jumped up and slammed the attack against the Deva Path. Tendo jumped back and avoided the large chakra attack, the ground in front of him nothing more but a mere crater. He held out his hand, shouting out.

"Shinra Tensei!"

Tendo exterted out an extreme pressure of force towards Naruto, sending him flying. Naruto crashed into the side and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Tendo's eyes slightly widened.

"A shadow clone?"

The real Naruto emerged from below and slammed the Rasengan in his hand. Tendo had no other choice but to take the attack full force. However, he noticed multiple white blade covering the Rasengan, making him think of one thing.

"Futon chakra?"

"Futon: Rasengan!"

Naruto slammed the wind-infused attack to the puppet corpse and shredded his body. Tendo fell to the ground, and caused a slight tremor. The corpse of Yahiko stood up and frowned. He clapped his hands, a black sphere forming in front of him. Tendo grunted as he shot it towards the still airborne Uzumaki.

"Chibaku Tensei!"

Multiple boulders began to fly into the air, converging on Naruto. The blond Uzumaki let out a small yelp of surprise, and found himself getting stuck between the large boulders. The boulders completely shaped into a planetary-like form, Naruto still trapped. Tendo slowly brought his hand up, right before slamming it down. The planet-like thing followed his hand's direction and slammed down onto the ground, exploding into a rocky chunk.

Tendo jumped into the wreckage and he was certainly surprised to see Naruto not lying down and dead. The blond jinchuuriki smirked as he flipped himself up.

"One of the benefits of being in Sage Mode. The Senjutsu chakra strengthens your body that allows you to absorb strong attacks like just now."

Tendo frowned. "You maybe a Sage, but that does not mean anything. The power of a Toad Sage is no match to that of a God's!."

Naruto summoned two clones and held out his hands, releasing chakra. The clones following and began shaping the chakra and finished quickly, the real one holding it out above his hand. The chakra shape was spinning wildly and in the form of a fuma shuriken.

"Futon: Rasenshuriken!"

Naruto threw the evolved form of the Futon: Rasengan against the Deva Path. Tendo quickly side stepped, dodging the attack. But to his shock, the Rasenshuriken was replaced with Naruto and was therefore exposed to Naruto's drop kick.

Tendo grunted as he stood up and held his chin in pain. "I must say, I did not expect for super strength to be one of the benefits of using Senjutsu. But even so, it won't help me stop you!"

Naruto didn't react and instead formed more clones in front of him, with him shaping the chakra his clones were forming. He finished and the two clones charged towards Tendo. The main Path jumped back to dodge the one in front of him, but found another one behind him.

"Senpou: Rasengan!"

His body was shredded by the dual attack and it forced him down back. Tendo stood up and looked up, the clones coming down with Rasengans still in their hands. He held out his hand, and with timed precision, managed to send them flying

"Shinra Tense!"

A powerful surge of gravity covered Tendo and shredded the clones. The puppet corpse lowered his arms and drew out two black rods. He twirled them around and charged forward. Naruto dodged every swing from Tendo and occasionally sent a kick or punch to him.

Naruto once more focused and generated yet another Rasengan and slammed it towards Tendo. However, Tendo crossed the black rods over him, and the Rasnegan dispersed, shocking Naruto.

Tendo took advantage and kicked Naruto to the ground and quickly pinned him with the black rods. Naruto formed the Ram sign and substitued with a lying Fuma Shuriken. The blond Sage charged at Tendo and kicked him straight on the head, sending him skidding.


Tendo rebalanced himself and held out his hand. Multiple rocks unattached itselves from the surface and began circling around him. Naruto summoned two shadow clones and created another Rasenshuriken. Naruto threw the Futon attack straight at the Deva Path. Tendo shot his eyes open, the boulders circling around him shooting towards the Rasenshuriken.

The result? The boulders crushed into nothing to dust, the Rasenshuriken still heading for Tendo, albeit slowed down. Tendo appeared behind Naruto and stabbed him with the black rods, eliciting a shout of pain from Naruto. Tendo pushed him to the ground and stabbed more rods onto Naruto, pinning him to the ground.

Tendo crouched near Naruto and grabbed him by the hair. "These are no ordinary rods, these are chakra receivers. These disrupt your chakra so you will not be able to use it. Your chakra control will be that of a civilian's. Now you will come with me, Naruto."

Naruto gritted his teeth and tried to free himself, but he just couldn't. Tendo looked up and was forced to jump back as someone tried to slam an attack against him. Tendo skid back and looked at the figure.

"Another one?"

"I-I won't let you kill Naruto-kun! If you w-want to kill him, you'll have to go through me!"

A collective shout of surprise erupted in the area. "H-Hinata?!"

And there was Hinata Hyuga, standing protectively over Naruto's pinned body. The blond Sage gritted his teeth and shouted.

"What are you doing here?! Get out of here or you'll die! Don't be an idiot!"

Hinata faintly smiled, slightly looking down. "I know, this is selfish of me. Charging in here. But I'm doing this, protecting you, is because. I love Naruto-kun."

Naruto's eyes widened at Hinata's declaration. Chakra began to form around Hinata's hand before it shaped into the head of a lion, her Byakugan blazed and glared at Tendo.

The corpse of Yahiko sneered and looked boredly at Hinata. "You are nothing but a mere footnote that will be left in the new history of trying to resist the capture of the Kyuubi. Come, and now pain!" He raised his hand, more boulders circling him.

  • Registered: 2017-07-24
  • Topics: 142
  • Posts: 1532
On 2018-05-08 08:53:45Show All Posts
6#
  • Dosu On 2018-05-08 07:45:59
  • ~~Nice copypaste.~~


    I can't help but get weird vibes from this tbh, it makes me susp1cious.

I asked him to show me some of the "atrocious grammar" I have. He didn't respond.

  • Registered: 2017-07-24
  • Topics: 142
  • Posts: 1532
On 2018-05-08 11:43:14Show All Posts
8#
  • Dosu On 2018-05-08 09:08:46
  • Maybe I'm being paranoid or dumb here. But what he's saying sounds like an advertis3ment.



    "I will of course credit you, and make adjustments and additions where needed to make it better"



    I feel like he's trying to get your permission to reprint your story somewhere else, then he can say he had permission to in small text.



    "I hope you accept my help, and I can make your fanfic very well written indeed"



    Sounds like an advert, I think. That said, I might be ridiculously wrong, but the fact that he copied and pasted the exact same message, plus all of this, makes me feel susp1cious.

That's why I didn't accept

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